The Pet Chronicles

“My dog ate my homework.”  How many teachers have heard that excuse???  Well, teachers listen up – this does happen – really!!!  Take my chocolate lab, Duke.  Well, the other day, Duke was feeling slightly neglected – or should Isay “major neglected.”  I confess – its true.  I was busy and tired and playing with Duke was not at the top of my list of things to do.  Warning to dog parents:  beware when you ignore your dog.  Well, Duke decided to take matters into his own hands, er, paws.  My purse was setting on the floor so Duke started to sniff around in it.  I don’t know why he picked my drivers license in its holder with a mirror also in the holder but he did. So when I found strange looking bits of an object spread all over the living room rug I began to investigate.  The mirror alas was no more and the holder with its contents (my driver’s license) had very noticeable teeth marks all over it.  Well, at least the drivers license was still all in one piece.  Now in fairness to Duke this is not the first time he has raided by purse so I should have known better but sometimes I forget and drop it on the floor instead of putting it on the table.  Well, trust me, if its on the floor, its fair game to Duke.  He owns the floor (and the couch and the bed.) So pet owners of the world be warned – Dukes of the world are sniffing out all sorts of things, even things you would not suspect would interest them.  Never second guess you dog – hide everything!!!

Scientifically, I know I’m smarter than my dog.  In practice, I question this.  If I’m busy at the computer I want my dog to lay down and relax.  I don’t want him to bug me.  There is plenty of time later for that. So of course I tell him to lay down.  Now sometimes he does.  Then there are those other times when he just won’t leave me alone.  He makes these little growling sounds or these wimpers.  He nudges me and paws at me.  Of course, I tell him to go lay down again.  I’m busy.  I don’t want to be bothered right now.  But my stern command only meets with more growling sounds, which this time get louder.

OK, I finally get it.  He needs to go out.  This is not something that can wait until I’m off the computer.  The time to act is now. So I get up and say “go out? Do you need to go out?”  Now the response is one of jubilation.  Finally, he thinks, I got it through to her.  I need to go out!!!  So we race to the back door and out he goes, but only to the end of the deck and then he stares at the neighbor’s dog.  Then there is the barking – “Hey, buddy, what are you doing over there?”

“Potty” I say.  “Duke go potty.”  OK, now we are on a roll.  Off the deck and into the yard.  There’s the long stretch of the body which signals to me that the bladder is about to be relieved.  Even though Duke is a male he rarely hikes his leg.  OK, we’ve got that chore out of the way.  Now on to sniff out the perfect spot in which to deposit those little brown gems.  Now just what entices Duke to pick a spot I’m sure I will never know.  Some will say it’s where he has gone before but from the extent of the coverage I would say its more like, “Let’s see, now where haven’t I gone before???”  OK, finally found it.  The Perfect Spot – at least for now.

Now what.  Oh, yes, let’s check out the rest of our turf.  Make sure no little critters who don’t belong have invaded our territory.  OK, all is clear.  Time to head on back in.

OK, now go lay down while mom works some more at the computer.  OK, big groan, but finally we’re down for a little nap. That is until mom makes a move.  Up and alert – mom has moved!!  Is she getting up?? Is she going in the kitchen??  Where’s that ball to toss around???  Oh, no, back to the computer.  Back down with another big groan.

OK, nap time is over, potty or no potty, computer or no computer.  Come on mom, let’s play or better yet let’s go in the car.  Duke loves to go in the car.  Of course, I roll the back windows down for him.  Of course, I know you shouldn’t do that. Duke loves to ride with the windows down – no matter what the temperature – hot or cold, it doesn’t matter.  It’s all those smells!!!  Love those smells.  Love the doggie biscuits from the bank. Just loves everything about it. But alas Duke can’t always go with mom.  Sad puppy dog eyes – you know the kind that lets him come with you while you drive around the block a few times just so he gets to go for a ride when you can’t really take him with you.  Come on, you know those eyes.  Those eyes that look longingly at you to come to bed when he’s tired, or to move over on the couch so he can climb up with you and snuggle, or those eyes which longingly watch every morsel of food you put in your mouth (especially bananas.) OK, so I’m a patsy for those sad puppy dog eyes.

So are you smarter than your dog???  Sure, until those sad puppy dog eyes grab a hold of you.  Sure, until those little growls and groans get the best of you.  OK, so I know what to do but that doesn’t always mean I do it.  It’s one thing to train a dog – its another thing to be taken captive by those sad puppy dog eyes of your best friend in all the world. It’s why parents spoil the kids. We know we shouldn’t but…. especially when its your kid!!! 

So are you smarter than your dog??? Scientifically yes…but in practice, probably not.